As leaders, we are supposed to be bold and confident. The Bible encourages us, like the Lord did Joshua when he became Moses’ successor in Joshua chapter one, to be bold and courageous in our leadership. We are to bank on the Lord’s accompanying presence and carry out our calling with a sense of assurance and conviction.
But if we’re not careful, that confidence can turn into arrogance. The line between displaying an appropriate sense of assurance and being pretentious can sometimes become blurred. So—how can we make sure our confidence doesn’t become arrogance? Here are three things I’ve observed over the years that lets me know the former has morphed into the latter.
Excessive defensiveness. The key word there is “excessive,” for every leader has moments of defensiveness. The very nature of leadership is laced with obstacles and attacks from time to time. If we are leading, then we are going to encounter periodic resistance, antagonism, and opposition. But when the default response to perceived hostility or criticism becomes defensiveness, you can pretty much bet that appropriate confidence has turned into inappropriate arrogance. Constant defensiveness is a sign that the leader is relying on him/herself too much. And self-reliance is one of the sure signs of arrogance. A leader who personalizes people’s objections or critiques and routinely responds by either blaming or defending is a dead giveaway.
Protectionism. When a ministry responsibility becomes “my turf,” arrogant decisions are virtually guaranteed to follow. When we view our ministry obligations as an entitlement rather than a sacred trust, you can bank on the fact that autocratic and arrogant decisions are bound to ensue. Granted—each of us that is part of a staff team should do everything in our power to make our ministries as excellent and outstanding as they can be. But when the carrying out of our ministries comes at the expense of fellow team members’ ability to carry out their ministries—when the pursuit of my departmental vision impedes the ability of those who are serving alongside me to pursue and implement their vision—then we have moved from confidence to arrogance.
Our job, as pastors, is to not do what we do to the very best of our ability. Our job is to do what we do to the very best of our ability in such a way that the others on the team can do what they do to the very best of their ability. And that means periodically scaling back … or doing without … or being aware that they may need some of the resources—people, calendar slots, a particular room or space—that we’d like to use. When there is a protective, possessive spirit rather than a collaborative, collective one, you can almost guarantee that somebody is serving out of arrogance rather than confidence.
Use of intellect as a weapon. In one of the churches I pastored, I inherited a staff team hired by my predecessor. Early on in that pastorate, I was warned by a board member about one of the staff members and his ability to argue things convincingly and in a way that often came off as demeaning or belittling. He said, “What’s so unfortunate is he has no idea he’s doing it. Many people have stepped away from the ministry feeling discounted or minimized, and he has no idea he is largely responsible.”
This staff member obviously had a great intellect and tremendous gifts of persuasion, but he periodically used that ability in a way that left people feeling devalued and/or written off. It’s a great thing to have a nimble and curious mind and be a learner—in fact, leaders by necessity are learners. If we are not seeking to grow and expand our understanding in a changing and dynamic context, we can quickly be left behind. But it’s quite another thing to weaponize our intellect and come off as intellectually elite or somehow “better than.” Confident leaders use their intellect to empower and resource those around them. Arrogant leaders use their intellect to climb over people and cut them down to size.
Boldness and confidence are biblical, but arrogance is destructive. And the line between the two can easily become blurred. Just as a healthy patriotism can descend into a toxic, detrimental nationalism and a parental commitment to discipline and instilling self-control in your children can descend into maltreatment and abuse, so a proper and fitting sense of confidence can become a hazardous attitude of arrogance if we’re not careful. Hopefully these signs, which are the product of years of ministry seasoning and personal experience, can help you determine one from the other.