A few years ago, Angie and I went to Pittsburgh to put some plans in place for our younger son’s wedding. They were getting married at a venue in the country just north of town called Meadowbrook Farm. Not knowing the area, we went to Pittsburgh in order to make lodging arrangements for family who’d be coming to the wedding and rehearsal dinner plans. We learned very quickly that western Pennsylvania is hilly and wooded with very few landmarks along two-lane roads that snake their way through the landscape. Much of the time you don’t feel like you’re driving in a metropolitan area. We relied on our GPS as we journeyed the countryside. We realized how essential it is to turn when and where you’re supposed to so you can successfully make it from Point A to Point B.
In many ways, the various books of the Bible are journeys on which the writer takes his readers. And the book of Ephesians is a journey that features some amazing scenery. Paul talks about the incredible work Jesus did on our behalf. He talked about the fact our ethnic identity and cultural heritage doesn’t matter—that we’re one. And in chapter 4 he gives us an incredible picture of how the church works. It’s this unified body—one Lord, one faith, one baptism, one God & Father of us all—that expresses its oneness through a diverse array of divine enablements called spiritual gifts. When the church functions the way God intended, the result is not only something winsome and captivating in the world’s eyes, but there’s a depth and maturity that’s forged in each of us as well.
But from this point, the journey takes a turn and Paul pivots from talking about the incredible privileges we enjoy to how we should relate to the world around us. Listen to what he says, beginning with v. 17.
So I tell you this, and insist on it in the Lord, that you must no longer live as the Gentiles do, in the futility of their thinking. They are darkened in their understanding and separated from the life of God because of the ignorance that is in them due to the hardening of their hearts. Having lost all sensitivity, they have given themselves over to sensuality so as to indulge in every kind of impurity, and they are full of greed. (Eph. 4:17-19)
Paul was speaking to people who were coming out of a system where the gods were fickle. As a result, people who confessed their allegiance to a particular god weren’t used to having an accompanying standard of behavior. Being committed to God didn’t come with any behavioral expectations or ethical implications. But Paul is saying, “This God is different! He’s not like those pagan gods that are capricious and temperamental. His character is consistent, and he calls those of us who claim allegiance to Him to express that character in how we interact with the people and world around us. “Don’t continue to walk in a way that makes you appear foolish or makes Him look like He’s no different than the idols your misguided brothers and sisters worship. Live in a way that’s reflective of who He is.”
Listen to how he frames it:
That, however, is not the way of life you learned when you heard about Christ and were taught in him in accordance with the truth that is in Jesus. You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; to be made new in the attitude of your minds; and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness. (Eph. 4:20-24)
The idea of ‘putting off’ and ‘putting on’ is like changing clothes. What Paul is saying should happen to us when we enter into a relationship with Jesus is we should “put off the old self and put on the new self”—i.e., there should be change behavior-wise. The Bible knows nothing of a faith commitment that leaves us unchanged. Yes—there may be some habit patterns and ways of reacting that will take some time and require patience and diligence to be overcome. The change won’t be automatic. But in terms of the fundamental orientation of our character, there should be a discernible difference. Who we were should take a hike and who we’re becoming should start to come into view.
But it’s interesting Paul says living this distinctive life doesn’t start with how we act, but with how we think—we’re to be made new in “the attitude of our minds.” People who don’t know Jesus aren’t just messed up behaviorally. They are messed up in how they think—their thought process causes them to be estranged from God and view His invitation suspiciously. If we’re going to live differently, our thought process must first change . For Christianity isn’t merely a change in behavior—it’s is a change in the governmental arrangement of our life … the foundational presuppositions from which we operate. We must choose on which foundation we’re going to build—the foundation of ourselves and what makes sense to us, or the foundation of God and what He establishes as truth.
The word for repentance in the Bible is metanoia which means change of mind. At the end of the day, conversion is largely mental. Yes—God forgives us and our standing with Him is altered—we meet the requirements to someday enter heaven. His Holy Spirit assumes residence within us and has an internal base of operations from which to work. But in terms of our day-in, day-out life, conversion is largely mental. Our understanding of God is changed from an ominous, threatening, and foreboding being to the loving and considerate person we see lived out in Jesus. And when we are converted, we begin to relate to God on this basis of this enlightened understanding—not as a vengeful, vindictive being to be avoided, but as a compassionate, tenderhearted person to be embraced. That changes how we function. It changes our aspirations and goals. It changes our character. And it changes the way we interact with the world around us.
And in the verses that follow, Paul gives us a picture of what some of those changes will look like:
Therefore, each of you must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to your neighbor, for we are all members of one body. “In your anger do not sin”: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold. Anyone who has been stealing must steal no longer, but must work, doing something useful with their own hands, that they may have something to share with those in need. Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you. (Eph. 4:25-32)
Five things Paul touches on:
Lying (v. 25). Lying is perhaps the most evident characteristic of the old life. Who of us hasn’t lied … or misrepresented things … or exaggerated the truth? We all have! And we didn’t have to go to school to learn how—it came easy to us. But what Paul says is if we’ve put on the garments of newness in Christ, we’ll tell the truth because “we are members of one another.” Lying not only offends and insults the recipient of the lie, but it also fractures the community we’re a part of. It tears at the fabric and chips away at the substructure. Nothing of substance and stability is built upon a lie. At the center of every bit of church drama—every congregational split … every instance of parish unrest—is a lie. It may take a while to learn what it is and identify who’s responsible, but it’s there. So, Paul says, “Don’t do it!”
Anger (v. 26-27). Notice Paul didn’t say, “Don’t get angry” as there are things that should make us angry. What Paul says is, “Don’t let anger foment and give the devil an opportunity. Deal with it appropriately.” There’s a sense in which anger is part of the image of God in us. But if we don’t utilize it rightly—if we employ it when our feelings have been hurt or our pride has been injured instead of when others have been mistreated and wronged—it becomes a destructive thing that sabotages the community and negatively impacts the lives of those around us.
Stealing (v. 28). Paul says the new us is industrious, diligent, and hard-working. We apply ourselves and try to not only provide for our own needs but do enough so we can have something to share with others less fortunate. At the heart of stealing is a mindset that says, “I want what I want, and I don’t care about the implications it has on anyone else.” As people who’ve entered into a relationship with Jesus, we are to be driven by loftier motives than that. We are to be concerned for the welfare of others. We’re to strive to contribute and do our part in the interest of the common good.
Unwholesome talk (v. 29) … This doesn’t refer so much to what we say as how we say it. I’ve often said, “You can say anything in the world to me you want, but you can’t say it any way you want.” There’s a constructive and beneficial way to say it, and there’s a detrimental and destructive way to do it. So, make sure you frame your words in ways that are edifying, encouraging, and uplifting. For words can hurt or heal. They can guide or lead astray. They can build up or tear down. Paul says when we put on Christ, we’ll use words in a way that’s consistent with God’s life and character.
Grieving the Holy Spirit (v. 30-32). This is a term that captures the various things Paul lists in v. 31—bitterness, rage, brawling, slander, and malice—attitudes that stymie God’s ability to work in a situation. The idea is getting control of your emotions and dealing with things in an appropriate manner … not being prone to outbursts and fits of temper. Instead, Paul says we should be kind, tenderhearted, and ready to forgive. We should possess a reconciling spirit to where breaches don’t become ruptures that can’t be healed and chasms that can’t be spanned.
But remember—the key to the whole thing is “to put off our old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires … to be made new in the attitude of our minds … and put on our new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness.” For many of us, that word holiness is intimidating and unsettling. The idea we’re to be like God in true righteousness and holiness sounds like we’re supposed to live up to some otherworldly, saintly standard we can’t possibly attain. It sounds like we’re setting ourselves up for failure because we’re being asked to measure up to an impossibly high requirement. But what Paul is saying is actually easy to understand: To be like God in true righteousness and holiness is to live in such a way that we do what Jesus would do if He was in our circumstances. If we find ourselves in a situation where we believe Jesus, if He was there, would manifest understanding and demonstrate grace, then we manifest understanding and demonstrate grace. If we find ourselves in a setting where we believe He’d be calm and composed, then we’re calm and composed. If we find ourselves in a situation where we believe Jesus would initiate a difficult but respectful conversation, then we initiate a difficult but respectful conversation. If we find ourselves in an environment where he’d listen and convey acceptance, then we listen and convey acceptance. To be holy is nothing more than doing what Jesus would do if He were in our circumstances.
And here’s the deal: When we invited Jesus into our lives, He moved in. But we also lack the awareness as to how comprehensive a work He wants to do in us. When we first came to Jesus, we knew we’d made a mess a things and wanted Him to wipe the slate clean … forgive us … get rid of the record of our wrongdoing so we’d be allowed to go to heaven. We came to Him asking Him to do something about our past. But God doesn’t merely want to do something about our past; He wants to endow and transform our future. He wants to do an internal work so our future won’t be a repeat of the past. He wants to equip and resource us so we can do in any circumstance what Jesus would do if He was in that circumstance. He wants to do something in us so we can be like God in true righteousness and holiness.
If you’ve been around the church, you’ve undoubtedly heard words like sanctification … second work of grace … second blessing. That’s what I’m talking about—bringing this forgiven life back to God and saying, “I know you’ve done something about my past, and I’m incredibly grateful. But can you do something about my future? Can you do an empowering and enabling work in me so I don’t have to continually revisit my past? Can you resource me in ways to where, at any given moment, I can carry myself in the midst of my circumstances the way Jesus would if He was in them?
God doesn’t ask something of us and then sit back and get a kick out of watching us struggle. He doesn’t call us to an impossibly high standard and then stand back and fold his arms while we bend over backwards trying to figure out how to pull off something beyond the bounds of possibility. No! He wants to resource us, endow us, and furnish us with what we need. But we’ve got to give this forgiven life back to Him with no holds barred and no strings attached. That’s when the fact that we’ve been made new really begins to show.