By necessity, leadership requires courage. In many ways, being the leader isn’t about being the smartest person in the room … or the one with the most experience … or having a certain title or spot in the org chart. It’s about being courageous—standing firm when things get tough … being willing to take the first step into unproven territory … stepping up and making the hard decision, particularly when it involves people. Sometimes that means asking a team member who’s no longer a good fit for the team, or whose attitude has soured, to move on. Other times, it means standing with that person who has great potential but made a mistake and giving him/her a second chance when some want to push him/her to the curb. Regardless, leadership is not for the faint of heart.
There have been times when I’ve been exceptionally courageous—tackling sacred cows and serving as the catalyst to implement needed change … moving forward in faith when there was significant pressure to settle for the status quo … making a decision on principle when I knew it was going to ruffle some feathers. But there have also been times when I’ve been extremely cowardly—being unnecessarily protective … shying away from making the difficult decision or taking the necessary next step … bowing to pressure and not holding fast to the God-given vision.
As I’ve led and observed other leaders over the years, I’ve noticed some common characteristics that are indicative of cowardly leadership—telltale signs the leader is letting fear get the best of him/her:
Saying what people want to hear. Many times I’ve said to someone, “You know, let me think about that” when deep down inside the decision has already been made and the answer is “No!”. But because I don’t want to disappoint them, I’ll try to soften the blow. Granted—there is something to be said for being sensitive to timing … the context in which the issue was raised may not be the right one in which to offer an explanation for the “No!”. But often we do this because we lack courage, or we want to avoid the fallout we’re convinced will ensue when the other party hears something they don’t want to hear. Leadership involves periodically disappointing people and typically, if we’re going to disappoint someone, procrastination doesn’t do anything to mitigate the fallout.
Avoiding conflict. This is closely related to the previous one. In virtually any relationship, there is going to be periodic conflict—if there isn’t any, then one party is completely controlling and dominating the other. I’m also convinced that some conflict is healthy and life-giving—for instance, when we’re having a conversation about the vision of the church and how best to pursue it. This kind of conflict keeps us focused and on point. But cowardly leaders tend to avoid conflict. And when this penchant is present in the leader, it tends to ultimately become embedded in the organization.
Pretending everything is OK when things really aren’t. Again—there are only a few degrees of separation between this and avoiding conflict. I remember Max Depree’s statement, “The first responsibility of a leader is to define reality.” Cowardly leaders often don’t want to define reality, simply because to recognize it would demand a great deal of physical and emotional energy on their part … or to acknowledge it would be an indictment of a past failure. So, they choose to gloss over the problems in the organization and kick the can down the road in terms of addressing the issues that need to be addressed. They’re like the proverbial ostrich that puts its head in the sand when it encounters a threat.
Refusing to back up fellow team members. One of the things I would often say to my team is, “Go ahead and do your job and let me be the bad guy.” Nobody wants to be a part of a team where they are left to twist in the wind when they make a mistake. One of the best ways a leader can engender loyalty and support from their team members is by having their back and standing with them publicly when they fail. Granted … there may need to be a private conversation so they can do better the next time … and continued mistakes along the same lines may indicate you’ve got the wrong person on the bus. But it often takes courage to stand with your team members, and failure to do so is typically indicative of cowardice.
Bailing when things get difficult. I’m convinced that effective leadership isn’t always about discernible or easily observable results. Sometimes it’s about helping the organization through necessary, but difficult or problematic, seasons—times when results are going to be less obvious and success must be redefined. Courageous leaders are on the front lines—providing assurance, instilling confidence, standing firm, and being a non-anxious presence as the organization moves through the storm. If you liken it to a canoe trip, cowardly leaders bail when the water gets choppy and the rapids come. Courageous leaders remain in the canoe and get the group through the demanding part of the journey.
Caving in to criticism. By definition, leaders will receive criticism … it comes with the territory. Sometimes it is justified and well-deserved; other times it’s unfounded and the product of the critic’s personal brokenness or insecurity. Regardless, cowardly leaders fall apart when people criticize. They take it personally … refuse to see any value in it … and perceive it as a threat rather than a potential opportunity for self-evaluation and growth. It’s not that courageous leaders don’t hear the criticism and cowardly leaders do. It’s about how we react and respond.
In the Wizard of Oz, one of the travelers on the yellow brick road was a cowardly lion who wanted the wizard to grant him courage. Unfortunately, on the road of leadership there are a number of individuals who manifest a similar nature. This checklist can perhaps help to determine if we, like the lion, could benefit from a dose of the same.