During my graduate program, I read a book about postmodernity that helped me more fully understand the changes of mindset that are going on today in our culture. The author talked about the underlying assumption behind postmodernity—namely, that society is characterized by the constant attempts of various groups to assert their influence and expand their power. One of the inevitable results of this viewpoint is that our language takes on a patronizing and condescending tone, dialogue becomes difficult if not impossible, and rational debate gives way to accusations of blame and denunciation. When Group A’s claims are perceived by Group B and an attempt further establish or expand their power, the language used by Group B to refer to Group A is contentious and lacks grace. And vice versa. And the cycle continues.
Perhaps the place where we see this most clearly is in the political arena and the vitriolic, caustic way many of those on one side of the aisle refer to those on the other. We see it modeled by the current administration in the White House. We see it lived out by a number of well-known congressional leaders from both parties. And I guarantee we’re going to see it in the theatrics leading up to this year’s presidential election. We lack a generosity of spirit. We criticize, make assumptions, denigrate one another's opinions, and take cheap shots. We manifest a cheapness and shallowness of spirit.
And it pains me that this mentality has invaded the church. I recently saw on Facebook where a high-profile leader in my denomination posted some thoughtful and well-reasoned words about a notable, but politically divisive, issue. He received such biting, harsh feedback from those who disagreed with him and other commenters that he took down the thread and said, “Enough. Done.” It pains me that professing followers of Jesus cannot manifest a generous spirit to where we can be gracious and courteous in our difference of opinion. We talk about how, as people who embrace the doctrine of holiness and the call to live distinctive lives, we should conduct ourselves in a way that is atypical from the surrounding world. But in this respect, we are failing. We are emulating and imitating the surrounding world—not providing an alluring, attractive alternative. In my mind, no political opinion or public policy point of view is worth sabotaging our influence over.
What does a generous spirit look like? How would a kind and charitable spirit manifest itself? As I think about that, there are couple of well-known biblical passages that come to mind. The first is 1 Corinthians 13 and the apostle Paul’s description of what love looks like: "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres" (v. 4-7). The second is his listing of the fruit of the Spirit found in Galatians 5: "But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control" (v. 22-23a).
My sense is if we were to measure our words and the way we interact with those who disagree with us against these two biblical passages, we’d see a much more civil and God-honoring discourse. So—let me pass along three simple steps I believe we can each take that will help us nurture a more generous spirit toward others.
First—choose to assume the best rather than the worst. There’s a phenomenon known as the “error of fundamental attribution” where we tend to give ourself the benefit of the doubt while seeing the actions of others as the product of malevolent motives. It amazes me that we want others to assume the best about us while we fail to be accommodating toward them. Why do we cut ourselves slack and not grant it toward others? Why do we overestimate our rightness—and righteousness—and underestimate theirs? Choosing to assume the best rather than the worst, even though we may profoundly disagree, goes a long way towards conveying a generous spirit.
Second—respond as if Jesus was in the room. How might we adjust what we do if Jesus were sitting right next to us? And … if we believe in the indwelling presence of the Holy Spirit and that the living Jesus actually inhabits our very being when we confess our sins and place our faith in Him, then He’s actually closer than that. I wonder how many times I’ve made the Holy Spirit wince by my responses to others … or emails I’ve sent … or words I’ve spoken. We need to allow our belief in the immanence of Jesus to shape how we interact and relate to those with whom we disagree.
Third—before you act, never assume you have all the facts. Many of our unbecoming actions toward others are the result of faulty facts, and those facts are often driven by gossip, incomplete knowledge of the situation, or our biased interpretation of those facts and not the facts themselves. I cannot count how many times I’ve made a faulty assumption based on incomplete, inaccurate or just wrong "facts." Generosity of spirit always assumes we may not know the full story and that our understanding of the situation is likely incomplete.
There is a beauty about people who manifest a generosity of spirit. They exude grace, understanding and kindness. They give people space and grace. Their words build up rather than tear down … heal rather than harm … and time spent with them is encouraging rather than discouraging. But, most importantly, they reflect the character of Jesus.
This is who I want to be, and what each of us who professes allegiance to Jesus should aspire to be.